Grow, baby, grow!

Remember how Zoe was having trouble with feedings? And weight gain? Not anymore!

Zoe had her 2 month doctor's appointment yesterday. I was quite curious to see what she was weighing these days. Obviously, her 0-3 month clothes were starting to get a little snug. And she "has more chins than the Chinese phone book" (bad, racist joke--I know. Ironically, I've never known any Asian Chins, just Caucasian Chinns). Turns out, Zoe has gone from roughly the 50th percentile for weight when she was born to the 90th. 12 pounds, 6 ounces! Since our last conversation had been about needing to supplement with formula, the doctor understandably asked what she was eating. When I told him nothing but breastmilk, he was certainly pleased and surprised. I guess we worked out that kink! She has also been exceptionally sleepy the past few days, lots of daytime napping, and the nurse speculated she may be having a growth spurt. Seriously, she slept through a diaper change. I am not kidding. Monster baby, here we come!

For those with children, you know that the 2-month check-up meant immunizations. Again, who is this child and what have you done with Zoe? She wailed after she was stuck, but calmed back down in literally 30 seconds when I picked her up. Charmed the socks off the nurse, let me tell you. She did have a rough night last night--her cheek looks like she had a run-in with a cheetah from all the crying and flailing. Mommy guilt: I apparently missed a rough finger nail. But, she slept through the night again (8 hours!) and has been napping all day today.

Photo of the yummy thighs just for Stephanie:

Hot, Hot, HOT

Summer arrived in full force this weekend. The busiest weekend BJ & I have had since Zoe arrived, of course! It did give Zoe her first taste of hot weather. And I mean hot. 90 degrees in the shade with limitless humidity. It was fabulous! While I'm glad I wasn't in my third trimester during such heat, nursing a little oven of an infant in it was delightfully sticky. I may never dress either of us again.

Zoe also spent more time away from home this weekend than ever before. And she did it with such grace that I think my real daughter must have been replaced by the aliens. We really have no idea where Princess Fuss Butt went. Zoe tolerated--more than tolerated, she slept through!--an afternoon of strolling and eating in downtown Naperville on Saturday. BJ and I really got some good socializing time, and "Uncle" Steve had a blast taking her off our hands. Did I mention how awesomely good my Blue Moon tasted? Zoe made her first church appearance, as well, when we stopped by my old church for a brief rehearsal for Katie's wedding. BJ was afraid she might burn, heathen child that she is. All that original sin dripping off of her. At least I was baptized there--she must have been protected, cradled in my arms.


Sunday, Zoe spent the whole day with Gram and G-dad (is that what we're calling him now?). BJ and I had a wedding to attend (outside in the heat! With multiple layers on!), but I think Gram was more than happy to pass a day with her granddaughter. My mother always gets this little glimmer of glee in her eyes when we bring Zoe by. It helps quell the guilt we sometimes feel for "using" my mom so frequently. Boy oh boy do we appreciate her help! We just don't want to take advantage of her generosity and eagerness. We again had more socializing to do on Monday (who didn't?), and Zoe was a real trooper. Not even a thunderstorm could wreck her napping.

But, man, was it hot. I think I will be heading to K-Mart for a little inflatable pool this weekend. Refreshing!

A Musical Survey Stolen From Little M

I did this while nursing Zoë, and it turned out pretty funny. I’ve got some real randomness to my iTunes library.

1-Put your music player on shuffle.
2-Press forward for each question.
3-Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How am I feeling today?:
This Place is a Prison, The Postal Service (I guess, as I stare longingly out the window at the hot, sunny day, baby clinging to my breast.)

Will I get far in life?:
Absolutely (Story of a Girl), Nine Days

How do my friends see me?:
Anything But Ordinary, Avril Lavigne – I love this answer! All the lyrics are just how I hope my friends see me!

When will I get married?: Doesn’t quite apply, but . . .
Ya Bahiyya, Cairo Caravan

What is my best friend's theme song?:
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls – For BJ

What is the story of my life?:
Curtains Up, Eminem

What is/was highschool like?:
Gotta Get, 50 Cent – Um, Naperville wasn’t exactly the hood . . .

How am I going to get ahead in life?:
21 Questions, 50 Cent -- ? ?

What is the best thing about me?:
Jump, Jive & Wail, Brian Setzer Orchestra – I know how to jive & wail.

How is today going to be?:
Ensurance Trap, Donnie Darko soundtrack – kind of creepy . . . I hope a jet engine doesn’t land on the house!

What is in store for this weekend?:
Hung Up, Madonna – “Time goes by so slowly . . .”

What song describes my parents?:
Oasis, Louie (Electric Oasis) – Especially when we need a sitter!

What song describes your grandparents?
Intro (Rock Steady), No Doubt – “A real love survives, a rock steady vibe”

How is my life going?:
Dust in the Wind, Kansas – That’s depressing!

What song will they play at my funeral?:
Building a Mystery, Sarah McLachlan – Interesting.

How does the world see me?:
High All the Time, 50 Cent – Wow, I never knew!

Will I have a happy life?
What’s Goin’ Down, Black Eyed Peas – “It’s not too late!”

What do my friends really think of me?:
Te Dejo Madrid, Shakira – Most of my friends don’t know Spanish, so maybe they just think I’m über Hispanic. Plus I’ve never been to Madrid, so I can’t leave her again.

Do people secretly lust after me?:
Paradise (Not For Me), Madonna – A resounding yes, I think!

How can I make myself happy?:
God (Interlude), Outkast – Is that a sign, or what?

What should I do with my life?
Letterbomb, Green Day – To the Office of Homeland Security: I will not heed this advice! 

Will I ever have children? Again, not applicable, but . . .
Pump It, Black Eyed Peas – I won’t go there.

What is some good advice for me?
If, Destiny’s Child – Actually quite good advice.

What is my signature dancing song?:
Still, Jennifer Lopez – I actually don’t like this song . . . what’s the next one? 

What do I think my current theme song is?
Last Call, Outkast – So I’m a doped up drunk. What of it?

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Nothing New, Ashlee Simpson – “I can only be myself. I’m sorry that’s hell for you.”

What type of men/women do you like?
Push and Shove, Fatboy Slim – Abusers. You bet!

What kind of kisser are you?:
Throw Away Your Television, Red Hot Chili Peppers – “It’s a repeat. And it’s getting old.” Thanks.

What's your style?:
Swallowed in the Sea, Coldplay – Considering my next “role” is water . . .

What kind of lover are you?:
Flylife, Basement Jaxx – At least I’m a pretty fly lover.

What would be playing on a first date?:
Century, Live – Live gets me hot, so probably.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?:
What It’s Like, Everlast – Yikes! That girl better not be Zoë!

Give it a try! I’d like to see what you come up with!

Sleep Training

Well, it happened. We talked about how great Zoe sleeps at night so she decided not to go to bed anymore. Last week, starting Tuesday night, we had a terrible time getting her to sleep at night. At first, we thought Gram had just overdone it while watching her. Too many visitors, too much playtime, etc. And, she was pretty wired up when I got her home. But then Wednesday night it again took 2 hours to get her to sleep. And 3 hours on Friday night. In the midst of it all on Friday, as I sat pumping while BJ fed her a bottle, I began to consider sleep training. I flipped through our sleep bible again. Could we do this so early?

Initially, I had read that babies usually couldn't get the hang of sleep training until 12-16 weeks. For the first 3-4 months it doesn't matter where or how they get to sleep. Just that they sleep. But, in re-reading, I see the bit I'd missed before. The bit that addresses exhausted, desperate parents with fussy babies (or parents who have to return to work). In some circumstances, sleep training may be attempted as early as 8 weeks. Worst case scenario? She doesn't take to it after a couple of weeks . . . at which point she's older, anyway. Couldn't hurt, right?

So, Friday night it started. Despite 3 hours of soothing, feeding, and diapering, Zoe was wide awake and agitated. BJ finished up her bottle, burped her and put her in her crib. And, she cried. We slunk off to our bed, feeling guilty but exhausted. We had decided to just let her cry it out--the method which is the most effective and quickest--because we'd already been attempting controlled crying (let her go a few minutes, then soothe, repeat) and "no cry", or constant soothing. I kept an eye on the clock, unable to sleep but at least more comfortable. She cried for 7 minutes. That was it! She slept for 6 hours before waking, like usual. Hold on, though, because they say night 2 is worse.

We decided to shoot for a 9:30 bedtime. That gave her an opportunity to fall asleep herself at her "normal" time of 8 or 8:30, and was still early enough that BJ and I wouldn't feel worn down. On Saturday, Beth was visiting (great timing!), so BJ took charge. At 9:30, she went into her crib. And cried for 10 minutes. Again, she slept for 6 hours. "Gee, I hope this is worse!"

Something miraculous happened on Sunday--Zoe fell asleep at 8:15 while nursing and stayed asleep! I put her in her crib after holding her 20 minutes (I was watching TV) and she slept all night. As in 8 hours. And, when she did cry it was because she had "fallen off" her sleep positioner. She wasn't really awake. Could this have really worked? This fast?

Monday night, again, Zoe fell asleep nursing during the 8'o'clock hour and stayed down. This was just too good to be true. We knew Tuesday would be a crap shoot--she was going to stay with my mom while I had dance rehearsal until 9:30. I'd have to get her down myself when we got home. It was 10:00 before we started nursing, but she quickly fell asleep and went into her crib. She started to whine after I left her room, but that lasted all of 30 seconds. Probably just getting comfortable.

Did she really take to sleep training? Were we successful? Last night, I thought we might have a repeat of the previous few nights. But, just as I was about to go upstairs to put her in her crib bright eyes! Gazing up at me as if to say, "Where do you think you're going?" It was the season finale of Lost, so I wasn't about to go soothe her in her room. No way. We sat in the dark watching TV until 9:30, when I put her in her crib. Although she was mostly asleep, she began to wail. And wail. Nearly 25 minutes of crying. Thank goodness for good TV to distract us. But, she did fall asleep and slept for 6 hours.

So, we'll continue. We're encouraged because we know a) she can sleep at least 6 hours at night without needing to eat and b) she can fall asleep and stay asleep at a reasonable hour without crying. The book says it could take 4-9 nights before baby goes to bed without crying. This will be night 6 . . . let's see what happens.

Two Months

Dear Zoe,

As of Monday, it had been 8 weeks since you came into the world and we found our lives thrown into complete and wonderful upheaval. Congratulations, love!

This past month I've risen each day wondering who I might meet lying in your crib. You are growing and changing daily . . . it's hard to keep up! The biggest alteration has simply been your mood. You started out this month a fussy, cranky baby who didn't seem to know if she was coming or going. Each day was spent trying to guess what might soothe you. Before our eyes, and as the "6 week peak" passed, you started to become a happy baby. "They" say this is just how it goes, even with really fussy babies. But, I'm starting to think that maybe it's just this other switch that's happened: we became mommy and daddy.

Somewhere along the way, you've turned us into parents who not only have an idea what they're doing, but who know their baby best. When your dad and I had to tell Gram not to overstimulate you at night, we knew it had happened. We have an understanding of your moods, we can anticipate your needs, and definitely know your hungry cry--"Laaaaah!" Part of me wonders if your smiles, your better mood, is just because we finally get it. All the time before you were simply screaming, "Figure it out, people!"

I can't stop talking about your smiles, your conversations. We have had such wonderful chats, lately. You look into my eyes, flash a brilliant smile and I know you're ready to talk. Your oo's and ah's, all the gurgles at the back of your throat, are captivating. I was telling my work friends that you've turned into a real baby! When we chat, I can see you trying to work out your mouth and tongue. "How did Momma do that?" you seem to say. Sometimes you even seem to mimic the sound I'm making. I can't help but exclaim over how smart you are! And nothing makes you smile more than when we chat.

Right now you're sleeping all scrunched up on my chest. Since that first moment of recognition about two weeks ago, when you were crying in your crib until I came into view and you looked in my eyes, you seem to only want to be near me. It's made your dad a little frustrated, sometimes! You can be screaming your head off until I take you from his arms. He feels like chopped liver, but my heart swells. Last week, I placed you in your car seat in the bathroom so I could shower. You were gazing around the room when I started to sing. Your head whipped around to look in my direction. You know your momma!

Or, at least I'm the head attached to the food source. Ah, the wonderful milk! You have grown as rapidly as the grass in the lawn this month. Your dad and I have started calling your thighs "hamhocks". They are so wonderfully and deliciously chunky! You have come an awfully long way since that doctor's appointment when they said you weren't eating enough. Your cheeks, your chins (yes, plural!), the rolls around your wrists . . . I just want to squeeze you close and, maybe, just a little, take a nibble! And, it appears you take after your dad after all because you have gotten much longer. We had to pack away some of your first 0-3 month sized clothing this week because you're too long! It was a milestone that dad and I were surprised to reach so soon. What they say is true--it goes so fast.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Love,
Momma

Happy Girl!

Happy Girl!
Originally uploaded by KLLippoldt.

7 weeks old and "laughing" at her mobile. Too cute!

Where I talk about my boobs.

Here's the truth: breastfeeding sucks. Pun only slightly intended. This may not be the case for everyone, but I felt it my duty to let people know that the beautiful, natural, painless picture painted by pregnancy and childcare books is often a bunch of bologna. I have only hinted at the difficulties we've had with nursing, mostly because I had this ridiculous guilt and embarrassment because it wasn't working. After 7 weeks and 2 days of not-so-fun breastfeeding, I am breaking my silence. It sucks, folks!

When Zoe was first born, I knew I wanted to nurse her and they (almost) immediately sent the lactation consultant (LC, for short) to check on us. Make sure Zoe was latching properly, we had a good position, she was swallowing, etc.. Well, Zoe wowed them with her superior latch and crazy strong suck. It didn't feel good to me, but didn't necessarily hurt, either. So, when asked if I had pain I replied "Not really." Besides, they all say "It's not supposed to hurt." The kind LC gave me some wonderful gel pads for any discomfort, and we were on our way. Of course, there were the visits when the pediatrician told us to supplement with formula for her jaundice--we wouldn't want any nipple confusion, and Zoe actually learned to drink from a cup!

So, thinking it had to get better, a couple weeks went by with me hurting. As in, crying, kicking the chair hurting. My first mistake: not using the lanolin enough. Because of Zoe's jaundice, we needed to make sure she was getting more than enough fluids at first. I was nursing constantly. And, she was a sleep-feeder. She would sleep and sip for at least an hour. As a result, my skin dried, cracked, and then the bleeding started. That put one breast out of commission for a week. Desperate, I checked in with the LC's--Zoe was still doing what she was supposed to do, perhaps I just had sensitive skin. "Pump to give it time to heal and use the lanolin. It gets better."

The cracks did start to heal, but not before I noticed I was having let-down pain. You know, when the milk starts to flow. My tender parts were sore and red, I'd had cracked/bleeding skin, and now a burning pain with let-down. Good lord, could I have an infection of thrush? Zoe didn't seem to have any symptoms, but what do I know? I figure, at the very least I had been hurting for nearly a month. My discharge orders say to call, so I call my doctor. No weird discharge? Nope. Baby doesn't have a diaper rash or white spots in her mouth? Nope. No fever? Nope. "Sorry, sounds like you're fine. You just have to heal. Pump to give your breasts a break and slather on the lanolin." Great! No thrush! Or is it? At the time I hoped for some sort of diagnosis to explain my problems. And, maybe, after antibiotics, the pain would go away. But, no. What did I start to hear, all of a sudden, from everyone?

Forget what the books say: breastfeeding hurts.

I was perturbed, to say the least. Just last week, my doctor said to me, "I breastfed all four of my kids, and it hurt every time." It only makes sense that it would hurt. That skin is sensitive, and in order for baby to get enough to eat their suck needs to have some power behind it. Why are we fed this nonsense that it doesn't hurt? That, if it does, you're doing something wrong? Of course it would take time to get used to that, to toughen the skin! Unless you're me.

Beyond the lie of pain-free breastfeeding, at least at the start, I am apparently one of those women for whom it hurts all the time. We'll call me sensitive. In fact, I think I have the double-whammy of breast sensitivity and a champion eater. My doctor tells me that it sounds like I am one of those fortunate few who feel everything that goes on in her breasts. Some women just have painful let-downs. Some women have discomfort and aches after a feeding, when the milk comes back in. My boobs never feel normal. Or, rather, they always "feel".

So, why haven't I quit, you ask? Despite my continued discomfort and hyper-sensitivity, it has gotten better. I'm not crying or screaming. My skin is healed. I am at the point where I've been breastfeeding for all but one (maybe two) feedings daily, when BJ feeds her. I've done that for 2 weeks now. I have hope that it will continue to improve. But, even more than that, can you get any more convenient? I really dread the hassle of bottles of formula. Or even continuing to pump and prepare bottles. And, you can have a hand free when you breastfeed. But, I have learned some valuable lessons. Let me share:

1. Avoid cracked/bleeding skin at all costs. To that end:
2. LANOLIN. Farbeit for me to advertise a particular product, but I'm going to push Lansinoh. I've used it and Medela's PureLan, and find the consistency/texture of Lansinoh to be superior. Goop it up constantly. Keep those puppies lubed.
3. Gerber disposable bra pads. They don't have the plastic-y backing of some of the others, and let your skin breathe. I tried Lansinoh's and Medela's and ended up with irritated, itchy skin. I suppose if you have heavy leaking, the Gerber's aren't enough--but I don't, so they're great.
4. Get a high-quality, double pumping breast pump. Even if you think you'll never pump, you may find you want or need to. It saves so much time to be able to double-pump, and you want to be able to adjust the speed and suction when you have tender parts.
5. Don't waste time/money buying a nursing bra before you deliver. In the hospital, I never wore it and found out, once at home, that the size was WAY wrong. For that matter, I've had a hard time finding a nursing bra I actually like, anyway. Normal racer-back styles that close in the front work great (just pull it aside), and don't require figuring out clasps with one hand. But, if you must, I wouldn't recommend skimping on them. An ill-fitting bra will simply lead to clogged milk ducts and PAIN.
6. Don't wait to ask for help. Even if it's just that you're worried about how much baby is eating. You may not like the answers ("Give it time!"), but the reassurance alone is worth the effort.

5 Years Ago Today

Happy Anniversary to my best friend, my true match, and the one who keeps me level-headed . . . . most of the time. I love you.

And, don't forget to pick up a pack of gum, or mints, on your way home. I'll all over the garlic potato salad tonight!

When Nala Dogs Attack

Goodbye, Nuk Duck
Originally uploaded by KLLippoldt.

Taken with the new camera!

Mommy Cow

While I'm still learning all the features of our new camera (yeah, Katie--we spent that much on a camera), I thought I'd share the story behind "mommy cow". No, I did not come up with that on my own.

A couple weeks back, when BJ was replacing the sod in our backyard, he had a friend come over to help him. This pal brought his daughter, who is too sweet and just shy of her 5th birthday. We spent the better part of the day, we 3 girls (and Vicki) coloring and watching 101 Dalmatians. Twice in a row, I might add. Anyway, around lunch time Zoe wanted to eat. I had to feed her! We had already talked about how babies only "eat" milk--Sophie wanted to share her fruit snacks--and she had seen her take a bottle. I didn't really want to introduce a "fact of life" that she may not be ready for or that her parents wanted to tackle, but I'm a nursing mom. If I didn't relieve some pressure, and soon, it'd be agony. So, I discreetly put Zoe to my breast.

Boy was Soph interested! What is she doing? How is she eating? Is she eating your finger? And, at that point, I was truthful. I mean, the girl was practically down my shirt herself to see what Zoe was doing. "Mommies can make milk when they have babies, and Zoe is drinking from my breast." "Oh! Like a cow!" she says. Then, BJ and her dad walk in the room just as she proclaims, huge lightbulb visible above her head: "You're a mommy cow!"

Kids say the darndest things.

Say "Cheese!"

Just as BJ and I are lamenting our darling's crankiness, she turns on the charm. Isn't that always the way? Apparently, Zoe decided it was time to "show us the money" and revealed the biggest grins on Sunday. For Grandma. Figures, huh?

It truly made me chuckle! She (Zoe) has in the past week started babbling a bit. Really adorable and a welcome reprieve from crying and screaming when she had something to say. My parents came over on Sunday to visit and my mom hadn't seen her in 2 weeks--a lifetime when it comes to newborns!--so she promptly plopped the little girl onto her lap. She asked to chat with Zoe, who at least "aahh"'d once, and they started playing "SO BIG!". And Zoe smiled. Huge. More than once.

Since then, we've caught a few more true smiles, but not too often. We try all sorts of goofiness to get a grin, but when we least expect it there it will be. Big wide mouth, to-die-for dimples, twinkling eyes and all. Last night, as I'm desperately trying to get her to go to sleep, I began singing "her favorite" lullaby. I glance down at her and she was staring up at me with her gorgeous big eyes . . . and she smiled! And, again! Like singing to her was just what she wanted at that moment. It was enchanting.

I would definitely characterize Zoe as a thinker. She tends to regard people with this piercing, contemplative gaze. If she could question every word you said, I think she would. But, it's nice to see there's a giggly girl hiding in there, too. As long as she doesn't ever turn that charm on the boys. Right.

Hopefully, I will be able to capture some of these early, goofy smiles . . . with our new camera! BJ and I will be celebrating our 5th (five years!?!) wedding anniversary Friday and he asked me on Monday what I would like. I was a bit flabbergasted--we've never been the anniversary gift types. The extent might be some new lingerie, but, frankly, that's not the gift. Anyway, I pondered it over Tuesday and came to the conclusion that I'd like a digital camera of our own. Sharing with the FIL was great and worked out, but with a changling in our midst I figured we ought to have one at all times. But, I didn't get a chance to mention it to BJ yesterday. This morning, as I lounge in bed doing mommy-cow duty, he asked if I would like "A) a patio set, B) a digital camera nicer than my dad's, or C) none of the above." I chuckled and said "B". He came up with the idea on his own! I guess we have been married 5 years.

So, we shall be getting a new camera which thoroughly excites me. For as long as I can remember (it's probably my dad, the shutter bug, to blame), I've had a latent photographer in me. But, subpar equipment. I can look at something--an object, a person, a scene--and see in my head how I'd like a photo to look. But, it doesn't seem to turn out that way (except this one). Now, I'll have the chance to make it happen . . . and record every nuance, movement, and moment in Zoe's life!

Random . . .

I must confess--the recent "Tell someone" commercials about HPV and Pap tests bother me. Is the general public really that dumb? Or am I the only woman who knew why she got an annual Pap?

I truly didn't think that it was news that cervical cancer could be caused by a virus--HPV. At least, I know I've been getting Paps for that reason for 10 years. Are people just neglecting good health? And, why the emphasis on "a virus". As if viruses can't do some significant damage. The line, "A cancer caused by a virus--a virus!" in particular. Hello! HIV--as in, "V" for "virus".

I don't know why this bugs me. Maybe because it's confirmation that people in general really are ignorant and irresponsible for their well being. Something else just occurred to me--have doctors been performing this test on women all this time without telling them why? If that's the case, shame on doctor for not educating/informing but also shame on patient for not asking!

Hmm . . . I think this is just something I need to get over. Although, I guess this post served the purpose of the commercial. I have now "told someone." Guess what--HPV can cause cervical cancer. Get a Pap test annually.

Count Your Blessings

Things I'm grateful for this week . . .

• Lounging in bed on a Sunday morning with your husband (Yes! She slept until 7 am for a total of 10 hours of sleep last night with only one waking to eat.)
• Bright, sunny May days perfect for strolling.
• An infant who sleeps at night.
• Kenmore Elite King Size capacity washer and dryer--I've never done so much laundry, and yet nothing shrinks and no stains!
• Jimmy John's delivers. Fast.
• "Bringing Home Baby" on TLC.
• The long-awaited regularity of "the poop" (at least once a day since last Thursday).
• Zoe is learning other ways to get our attention besides screaming--completely adorable vocalizations and fewer headaches.
• All those good friends and neighbors who have gotten me out of the house this week . . . or, stayed in with me. You know who you are.
• Reaching the "6-week Peak" intact. We can do this!