A Halloween Happening

Tomorrow is the big day! It’s pretty exciting around here because this is Zoë’s real first Halloween. She understands dressing up, she loves seeing other kids in costume, she likes the funny decorations, she calls out every cat, bat, pumpkin, and witch that we see . . . it is a lot more fun. And Halloween is probably my favorite holiday (it would be Christmas, but there aren’t all the fun costumes).

On Sunday, we got our kids together (Ella, Lizzie, Foster and Zoë) and hit Naperville’s Halloween Happening. I had no idea what a big deal this was until we got there, but the kids had a blast. They had games, bounce-houses, everyone had their costumes on, and lots of candy. To top it off, it was a beautiful fall day. Oh yeah – and I got interviewed by Comcast (who helped host the event)!

Yes, of course I dressed up – same as last year. You’ll notice our whole crew (and yes, I was the only adult who played along, although Aideen swears she would have had she not left her costume in her classroom) went with the Wizard of Oz theme. It was hard to tell that Ella and Zoë were witches instead of munchkins, but either worked. I’ve never seen such a cute cast of characters.

Plus, I got a taste of what it would be like to work as a character at Disney. If – and I mean if – I ever do that again, I’ll have to do a little more research on my character. I had countless little girls coming up to me, “Glinda! You’re so beautiful!” and such. I’m not used to having to respond to that!

And the angels began to sing . . .

Friday night I made a gamble.  I had a work-related party to attend.  Children were invited (good call on everyone’s part, since we’re nearly all young families).  But the shindig didn’t start until 5:30 pm.  Normally, Zoë crashes early on Friday night.  She’s just done after a week of hard-core toddler stimulation at school and typically zones out in front of the TV when we get home around 4:00, then zonks out in bed no later than 6:30.  So, going to a party that started at 5:30 was taking a risk.

I swear to you, she could not have been better behaved or more charming.  She ate the food that was available, she gave cute smiles to all the adults, she played happily in their (god-bless-it-very-well-stocked) playroom with another toddler girl.  Granted, she wanted either BJ or I up there with her which, practically, was fine.  They had a baby gate, but 5 rambunctious boys ensured that thing never stayed shut.  But, there were no tears, no tantrums, nary a yawn.  At 8:00 we finally, as responsible parents, said “Let’s get this baby to bed!”  Being ever so smart, I packed her pajamas so she was changed before we got in the car.  Dropped her in bed by 8:30 and she was out like a light.

It was blissful and pleasantly unexpected!

Of course, when you compare it with her behavior about a month ago at a baby shower I attended . . . you would have thought she was a critically ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder kid.  I guess I was due a pleasant social outing.  But why do they have to be so darn unpredictable?  How could I ever expect that a Friday night party would go better than a Saturday afternoon kid fest?

Before heading up to bed at 9:16 pm

Him: “We’re sad.”

Me: “No we’re not – we’re hard working parents.”

Him: “You’re a hard working parent.”

Ah . . . the sweet taste of validation.

 

It's not Munchausen-by-Proxy, I promise

Is it totally wrong if I love it – just a tiny, little bit – when my kid is sick?  That is truly one of the only times that she will cuddle and snuggle.  Zoë had a sick day yesterday (yes, again – it’s either new teeth or a sinus infection) and for the better part of the day she was curled up on my lap, her head tucked under my chin.  It was lovely.  I could do that every day.  Of course, by yesterday afternoon, she was antsy and ready to run again.  Around the house.  Outside.  About half a dozen times.  

 

Remember my broken toe?

 

I would never, ever make her sick.  But, I have to admit I do enjoy the times her body makes her slow down just enough so that I can catch her!

 

You know what else made yesterday great?  Having lunch with my daughter.  I absolutely had to go to the grocery store, since it had been neglected on Sunday when I received blunt force trauma via rogue pot lid.  So, after Zoë’s (2 hour!) nap, we got in the car and headed to McDonald’s.  She sat in the booth next to me and we had delightful conversations about the other kids at McD’s, her Happy Meal toy (a miniature plastic hussy . . . I mean, “MyScene” Barbie . . . which she later pointed to and said “Momma”), her apple juice, and my cheeseburger.  Unfortunately, the food and juice gave her a boost of energy, so halfway through the grocery shopping she’s pleading with me to “walk!” and straining to get out of the cart.  Thus, the running around the house later.

 

I did also discover that Zoë’s powers of observation are keen.  We were standing in the freezer section while I picked out my Lean Cuisine’s for work, within sight of the check out aisles.  She starts going on and on about Elmo: “See Elmo!  Elmo!  See Elmo!”  I looked around, thinking perhaps he was slapped on a cracker box or something.  I didn’t see Elmo anywhere and told her I thought she must be confusing something else for Elmo.  Oh no.  “See Elmo!”  I peer in the direction she’s looking . . . sure enough, about 10 feet above the nearest check-out aisle, nearly lost in the dim of the ceiling, is Elmo, dressed up for Halloween as a skeleton, on a balloon.

Ow, Ow, Ow!

I broke my big toe on my right foot. I was putting away a new set of 3-ply cladded steel pots and the lid to the 6-qt. stock pot fell right on my toe. I'm pretty sure the handle hit it. It is all swollen, reddish-purpleish-bluish, and I only today was able to get it into a real shoe.

Geez, our bodies just cannot get a break. Er, I mean . . . you know what I mean!

Let Down

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve waffled back and forth about writing about this. I didn’t really see why not, but at the same time wasn’t sure anyone really wanted to hear. Bad news – or, at least not great news – is not exactly fun. Then I read dooce’s post and the coincidence of it all just got me thinking “What the hell?” This is part of the story of our family, after all.

BJ and I have been in pursuit of a sibling for Zoë for the past few months, now. Going for a second was never a question, it was just an issue of when. We’d talked about wanting our children to be at least 24 months apart, but not more than 36. We’re dorky and precise like that, and it had nothing to do with anything but preference. Besides which, we are fairly blessed and when we decide we want things to happen, they do. Of course, as Zoë rounded her first birthday, I started to get antsy. I saw all these pregnant women and just ached to be like them. It was actually a bit surprising to acknowledge how much I missed being pregnant. But, BJ pointed out, the timing wasn’t right. I had to consider when I’d have a maternity leave, how many sick days I’d have, and how old Zoë would be. Wait, he said.

The first of July rolled around and I was chomping at the bit. Then good friend Deanna announced she and her husband were expecting and I think BJ’s mouth started to water just a little. As soon as we could, it was go time.

Truly, we had no expectations that we would hit any speed bumps. We got pregnant with Zoë so quickly – sooner than we planned we would – why would we? That first month I was late. Way late. I spent about two weeks taking pregnancy tests every other day. I did not feel pregnant, but what the heck was going on? Stress? I’d been stressed before, a lot more than this, and never been late. I was like clockwork. Just seemed odd coincidence that the first month we tried, I was late. I never did get a positive test. My period came. Only it was 42 days after my last one. A six week cycle? Weird.

But, we jumped back in the race. Despite the strange issue with our first cycle, it was a lot of fun. Come on – how could it not be? And, for a while, I felt it was more fun than when we were trying for Zoë. There seemed to be less pressure, since we already had one and “knew we could do it.” This month, though, our health wasn’t great. BJ got sick, Zoë got sick, I got sick. You’ve heard all about it. Still, we tried. And shortly before I thought my period might be due (because I was assuming the last month was a fluke), I felt weird. Starving, but nauseous after I ate. Falling fast asleep right after work while Zoë watched TV. Floaty, fuzzy head in the morning. Awfully suspicious.

My “due date” came and I waited. I didn’t rush to take a test – despite my initial “weird” feelings, I was back to feeling fairly normal. And, given last month, I thought I’d wait until I was actually late. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I took a test. And it was positive. Only, just barely. I had almost discarded the test when I noticed there was a second line there. OK. I was super-late last month, maybe I ovulated later this month . . . and since we weren’t counting . . . let’s give it another couple of days.

The next day I started spotting. Nothing major, but I still did a quick internet search (ah, don’t you love it?) and found this was pretty normal. The following day, still with some minor spotting, I took another test. Definitely positive this time. A good sign, but still thought I better get checked out. I called my doctor and got a blood test the next afternoon. The day after that, I knew it was over.

When I saw the doctor, she confirmed. My blood tests showed my hormone levels as “not great” but “not bad”. Had I not spontaneously miscarried when I did, they would have watched me like a hawk. But, I had been pregnant. Ugh. This totally sucked.

I know things happen for a reason – there was something not right with this little one (hmm . . . could that raging virus I had right about when we conceived have anything to do with it?), and it was better to let it go. I was actually fine with the act of losing a pregnancy. I had only known I was pregnant for four days, and they were a tentative four days at that. It was all the other things about it that I was/am so emotionally wrapped up in. Wanting to be pregnant right now, having to wait for another baby until July (at the earliest), timing a maternity leave at work in the fall, wanting to be pregnant right now. This is a major disappointment, to say the least.

In the realm of babies and fertility, we’re super-blessed. Apparently, we blink our eyes and we can conceive. The fact that we did conceive again is a good sign, and my body did correct itself. There were no invasive procedures involved. I know there are so many couples out there who really struggle with fertility, and I’ve gotten just the tiniest, most superficial, glimpse of what that struggle might be like. That’s not to say this has been an easy month for us. As I watch Zoë play, chatter with her friends at school, and marvel at a caterpillar on the sidewalk I am buoyed by her spirit. But, I ache to see her share her world with a little brother or sister. To learn to share and argue, and to teach them how to work over the parental figures . . . so, we’re back to it. And I hope to bring you good news in the coming months.

At this moment

I’m sitting in my office and my iPod is playing – The Very Best of Tchaikovsky – and I’m overcome by the urge to snuggle my baby girl.  It’s all HBO and Classical Baby’s fault.  I just can’t hear “Piano Concerto No. 1: Allegro con spirito” without thinking about vegging on the couch with Zoë.

 

 

Yum, yum!

It's Wednesday, and I've been keeping up with the new plan for 3 official days. Monday's chicken soy saute and couscous with peas was a hit. It was gobbled down, and ridiculously easy to boot. Because it's rare that you actually find a meal that only takes 30 minutes to make (last time I did a Rachel Ray . . . well, let's say it would have taken significantly longer than 30 minutes had I completed it). Last night was spaghetti carbonara with sauteed zucchini. Zoe had a blast with the spaghetti, but more importantly she ate all her zucchini. Oddly enough, BJ left all the bacon behind when he ate his spaghetti (he usually loves bacon - he said he felt guilty eating so much as part of a pasta . . . ?). Tonight was roasted chicken - yes, I cheated about bought one at the store - with crispy pan-fried potatoes and left-over zucchini. I think this was Zoe's favorite. She couldn't get enough of it. All of it.

It's weird, but I've felt like I've had more energy and motivation after dinner these past few days than I have over the past few weeks. BJ's holding up his end of the bargain and starts (and finishes!) the dishes before we put Zoe to bed. Best of all, my theory about not wasting food is holding fast. We have some left-overs, a little spaghetti and a little couscous, from the past three nights, but tomorrow is Thursday. I never cook on Thursday because I have belly dance. So, there's dinner done! Plus, the rest of the chicken from tonight will be used for Friday's dinner - mini chicken pot pies. Those are my favorite. We're off to a good start.

And Tricia - tell Scott that dinner each night has been $10 or less for 3 people (yeah, Zoe's a full third). If I cook 5 nights out of 7 ($50) and add in the roughly $50 weekly for staples, it's still less than I was spending most weeks before. Besides, even if I occasionally spend more, I'm still coming out on top when we eat it all instead of order/eat out and throw the groceries in the trash. :-D

Being Balanced and, just maybe, Going Green

This week I’m starting a new meal planning / grocery shopping practice. Over the past few months, even when I was home almost all day, I found we were eating out more, eating convenience foods even when we were home, and wasting a lot of fresh food that sat unnoticed at the bottom of the fridge. When I started back to work, of course I found it harder to not only plan meals but prepare them once I got home. [That is, the prep-time was nonexistent until we found “Go, Diego, Go” (thank you, Noggin).] At any rate, our diets were suffering, I was – much to my dismay – making two meals every night, and we were still wasting food and money. Plus, like most of the country, I have this renewed consciousness of my environmental impact. Wasting greens – edible and spendable – is not green. All around, what we were doing was not working. I tried weekly meal planning and that just didn’t work for me. Sunday morning, when I would do the shopping, I’d have it all in my head to make X, Y, and Z during the week. Maybe X would get made on Monday, but then it all fell apart. It was as if it was so much easier to get off track when I knew the food was there waiting. “Oh, I’m not feeling up to it tonight, I’ll just make that tomorrow.” And then, by the time I got around to it, the produce was rotten. No more!

So, here’s the deal: I’m still doing a general “big” household shopping trip once a week. But, when it comes to food I’m only buying the staples. The things we never ended up wasting and almost always run out of, like milk, bread, food for my lunches, and fresh fruit for breakfasts. The only meal we all eat together at home during the week is dinner. So, each day I’ll go to the grocery store after work and pick up what I need to make dinner that night. Only what I need.

Now, most people view having to go to the grocery store every day as a hassle, a chore, a waste of time. But I really see this as an opportunity to get our diets back on track, cook at home more, waste less, and take a crack at those recipes I’ve been meaning to try. Besides, I already get done with work about 15 minutes before Zoë finishes her snack . . . you think I would actually spend that time doing more work? I gave my plan a trial run a few times last week – I really thought it was a success! I’ll post every now and then about how it’s going . . . and if my little family actually ate what I made. Tonight is chicken sautéed in soy sauce and garlic, and couscous with peas . . . I can’t wait!